Posted in Thoughts

The Reboot I Want Hollywood to Make

I’ve always loved action movies. Especially a certain “class” of action movies. You know, the ones from the 80’s with Arnold, Jean-Claude, Kurt, etc. Lots of explosions and fist-fighting and gunfights and cheese.

So. Much. Cheese.

And with all the reboots constantly filling the theater, and the anger/joy (depending on who you are) about the female Ghostbusters movie, I started thinking. Why can’t we have a cheesy action movie reboot with all female characters?

After all, the reason I hated seeing females in action movies was because their parts were so, so terrible. They were either there to get rescued or to get naked. Or! In some movies, they could fight for a bit, and THEN get rescued/naked. It’s no wonder I didn’t really have any female role models until I started reading more authors like Tamora Pierce and Patricia Wrede. I want to see a female Arnold Schwarzenegger breaking people’s faces and shooting them out of a helicopter, while spouting terrible lines. I want to see a movie where a bunch of girls fight evil in the most over the top way possible, without just being male eye-candy. It’d be like The Women, but with a lot more punching.

Actually, now that I think of it, DOA: Dead or Alive fits almost all of my criteria. Cheesy, female leads, not too much story, lots of smashing. And it does (still!) make me happy every time I watch it. So there you have it, story scouts. Remake DOA with more females and get ALL my money.

What terrible movies do you still love?

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Author:

I'm an aspiring librarian just entering graduate school. My dream has always been to help other people get the information or resources they need, and working in a public library is the best way to accomplish this goal!

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